Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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