After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
