I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
