Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
