Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
