Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
