Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
so much tequila, so little girl.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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