Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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