Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
