Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
