At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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