i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize