Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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