:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
