thus making me awesome and them whores
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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