playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
