So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
