can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
