I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
