You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
