she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
