I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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