I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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