yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
