I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
