first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
