She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
