I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
