i just had sex bonerless
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
