i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
