just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize