DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You can't special order awesome
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
