Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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