all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
