who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
