two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Randomize