Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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