She's JV to your varsity
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
