Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
