stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
