This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize