there's paper in my vomit.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
