thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
