so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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