hell yes lets make some ravioli
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
