She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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