ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
