fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
