Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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