I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
