normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
