did you get engaged???
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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