Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
