i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
