I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
