never play flip cup with pint glasses
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
