I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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