Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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