Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
