Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
