i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize