East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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